LoVe HeR fOr wHo ShE is

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eNjoY rEadIng!

*nO vuLgaRitIes!
nO grAbs!
LeaVe iF u ArE uNhaPPy!*

* click the words to navigate *

Saturday, January 28, 2006

happy chinese new year, finally =)>

hi pple... happy chinese new year to all k? its chinese new year eve tonight.. finally.. ended my last day of work yest.. feeling kinda of relieved yet sad... cos i can finally take a break but i will be missing the nab pple so much.. this week has been a stressed yet enriching week for mi.. got interviews, tests and reports to do... and the most cruel thing i had did in my entire life... kill a chick embryo! crys.. sorry chicky..

here are some photos i haf uploaded which tells you wad i did for the entire last week.. enjoy k?

firstly, is the staff party at attica one... i really had fun even though i had a upset stomach the next day.. thanks and sorry suiling for making u worried for mi and made u fell when looking for mi.. real sorry.. i really appreciate wad u did for me.. smiles=)

me and suiling =)

me and meifang.. i miss u so much girl.. take care of urself in malaysia =)

me and my manager damien.. i juz realised his face is so red.. hahas

my piggy son and me.. thanks for drinking with mi =)

me and my manager mervin.. he looked so funny.. hee =D

team leader apple, damien, me and suiling

this is supposed to be a pic of me and vevain only, yet they came in time time to become a grp pic.. arghs. hahas.. from top:damien. left:isaac, me ,vevain and eric. bottom:mervin

okay.. now its the time for pic of my interview.. my formal wear pics.. only took some only.. haha..

stephy and me at norgan vaaz

finally we had our blazers on =)

interviewees of the day.. from left: me, peiqing, samantha, farhana and valerie

okay, now is the time for some gruelsome pics.. sorry if i made u turn vegetarian for a week.. hahas.. this is wad i did for mammalian cell technology.. need to subculture a chick embryo cells and dissect its heart, liver and skeletal muscles out.. gruelsome gruelsome and gruelsome i can say.. haiz..

the chick embryo which is still alive kicking in PBS solution.. can u see the eyes is so big.. i took it out from its shell..

the next moment.. the chick embryo is w/o its neck liao.. sorry kenneth.. i madeu snapped its neck as i really got no courage to do it.. its juz too cruel.. my tears are coming out liao..

this is wad i have did in the whole week.. exciting rite? its only nice to read words with pics.. hahas.. gonna to take a nice break during my cny and i hope no one will screwed it up.. take care and enjoy guys =))

# posted by eling | Saturday, January 28, 2006 | 0 comments

Sunday, January 22, 2006

stressed..>

i'm stressed.. so many deadlines and interviews and tests next weeks.. and tonight is staff party.. dun feel like going.. but its mei fang last nite in singapore liao.. i think i should go.. hai.. i cant help but feeling worst when stress comes to mi.. makes mi feel so breathless.. i dunno why am i feeling so tired at times.. maybe there's juz too much things for mi to solve and think.. but somethings are meant to be unsolved.. hai

had my blood test results.. and my antibody level is only 51.. eling, where's all ur antibodies when u took the jab in sec 3? haiyo.. i dun wan booster.. no money.. sian diao.. i will be stop working after next fri.. got too much things to cope.. and i dun wan to be lousy again..

i dun wan tears and sadness in my life anymore, GO AWAY! i had enough of them.. pls dun bother mi with all these.. all i wan is happiness in my life.. i'm SELFISH i'm sorry.. but this is human nature and situation that changes mi i think..

wadever and wadever, i gonna to get myself busy with work again.. tata~

# posted by eling | Sunday, January 22, 2006 | 0 comments

Monday, January 16, 2006

paiN..>

i'm back blogging..

actually, i have no mood to blog.. cos i'm so worn down.. so tired with all the projects and work.. fatigue is my best fren now i guess.. everyday i juz need to drag myself to sch unwillingly.. "Eling, wake up, wake up, wake up!" i tell myself..

been feeling down all these while, suddenly haf a urge to go to the beach and unwind all my stress.. anyone interested in accompanying me, pls give mi a call=)

juz came back from blood test for hep B which i went with steph and michelle.. haha.. actually its not that painful, juz an ant's bite... but when i recall michelle's scene of withdrawing the blood.. i cant help but burst into laughters.. lol.. its juz so funny.. michelle, u are juz too skinny lah.. tats why no blood comes out.. i pity the doctor.. muz be having high rush of adrenaline at that point of time.. hahahaha..

tmr is suiling's bday.. i juz bought her pressie.. hope she will like it.. going victor's house for steamboat tmr to help her celebrate her bday.. hope everything turns out fine.. nite guys.. i'm sleepy liao.. =O

# posted by eling | Monday, January 16, 2006 | 0 comments

Friday, January 13, 2006

snEeze~>

its so cold! sneeze and sneeze is wad i can do now.. haiyo.. go away the stupid monsoon weather.. i need u my grandpa sun.. haha.. even my mom is grumbling everyday for the sun to come out.. juz went down to swissotel to take my pay.. as usual, i rushed down by taking cab again.. and the stupid taxi driver went from PIE. gosh. its there a exit to swissotel from PIE? i'm not a driver yet i noe this.. then he exited from eunos and take ECP in the end.. waste my $$$. aRghs.

wanted to report for my lost voucher. yet the security went for dinner. wad the.. so i haf to report tmr.. its dragging a day and a day.. so i haf to get my pay later also.. tired.. working tmr again.. hai. cramped with so so so much deadlines for projects and so much things to do.. all i need is 48 hrs a day.. grant my wish pls..

haha.. i am basically crapping. gdnites guys.. dun forget to cover ur blanket and dun kick ur blanky away!=)

# posted by eling | Friday, January 13, 2006 | 0 comments

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

sleepy..>

guess wad time i woke up today? 6PM! wad the... muz be the weather and due to my headache... thats why i woke up so late... eventually wanted to go down to swissotel to report for my lost casual labor voucher... but forget it.. i am too lazy to go down due to the rain.. its non-stop raining... luckily i still can claim back my money =) but need to wait for a month...

yest was hell for mi.. so mani cust crowded at my serving area... and the whole level 72 was so dark... all candles around.. heard there's something wrong with the lightings.. all the people there crowding and jumping around and the dimness made mi felt naseous.. making mi kept taking sour drinks from danny.. luckily i din puke.. and the fussy cust at table 96. really FCUK!

oh yah, thiese are some of the photos taken yest during our stay at the library, starring mi, stephanie and gen..

gen, mi and steph

steph and mi

guess i am gonna stay at home and slack the whole day. eventually wanted to get my new year clothes.. but i dun think so.. nobody to acc mi and due to the weather.. i guess i have to go on another day.. update u guys again~

# posted by eling | Tuesday, January 10, 2006 | 0 comments

Monday, January 09, 2006

cool down>

cool down.. this is the action we need to do now.. misunderstanding and more misunderstanding we are having everyday.. i juz wan everything to stop down first.. we are both hurt.. i noe.. i dunno how long this thing will clear.. but i believe that sooner or later, the dark clouds will clear away..

yest my mom asked abt u, when u are coming to my house for cny as usual. i was speechless.. trying to avoid this qns by pretending busy.. cos i dunno how long we will get to normal.. i noe u care for mi juz like i do.. wondering whether u noe how to walk in the crowd where u will get confused..

dun write anymore entry to reply mi back.. or it will be another misunderstanding.. take it that my english is poor that i had misunderstood u. i dun wish to haf more misunderstanding. cool down is all we need.. may we be strong and live life to the fullest everyday =) tears are part of growing up i guess. take care too.

# posted by eling | Monday, January 09, 2006 | 0 comments

Sunday, January 08, 2006

speechless>

seen ur blog.. independent is wad u trying to be now.. maybe u think this is a good way out.. maybe this is wad i shld do too.. i am depending too much on u in the past.. now i learnt to be alone and face all the troubles by myself.. no choice.. tears juz drop down when i think that our promise to taiwan after graduation will vanish.. everything will vanish.. forget it i tell myself.. control ur tears, i struggled every moment.

maybe we've changed. i dunno.. maybe u wont need mi anymore in ur life. if that's so. i guess i had to accept it.. but i juz dun wish a moment of folly caused a lifetime of regrets. i dunno how long this awkward moment will be. but i will hang on.. till everything is fine again.. dun worry about mi.. i will still put my smile on everyday cos the world doesn't owe mi a living.. i shldn't bring sorrows to other's life too..

how i wish we can go to work together again.. yet i'm all alone on the bus.. viewing the sceneries by myself.. nobody to share my day with mi like we used to.. i am juz missing lots of them.. u juz wont noe. i'm not arguing who's right or wrong now. i dun need to noe who's right or wrong now. all i wan is the FRENSHIP back. if u wan mi to throw my face away to get this frenship back, i will by all means.

i had to stop guys. the screen is blurring when i type every sentence. i'm weak i admit. nitez =)

# posted by eling | Sunday, January 08, 2006 | 0 comments

tired, tired and tired...>

i'm so tired.. juz finished doing all the housechores.. my mom fell and sprained her legs.. so i had to take over all the housechores.. i shldn't grumble i noe.. but i am juz tired.. cos i got too much things to do.. so juz bear with my grumbles lah..

tmr will be my interview for my ddct project... we are the last group.. from 5.30 to 6.. luckily i'm working at 7 tmr.. yest i managed to get royal salute 21 years bottle.. it's so nice.. haha.. had a bad stomach yest.. cos i drink on empty stomach.. cos meifang was down on her mood.. all the drinks she drank was double shot.. i'm afraid that she will get drunk, so i drank half of her share.. in the end, i got my stomach kicking the whole nite.. hai..

becos of ur sentence of 'u dunno how to face mi', i tried to make the best situation for u.. i am NOT saying i'm very "sacrificing", dun take my words wrongly.. cos i care abt how u feel.. i dun wan u to feel awkward or wad.. maybe its good for us not to face each other for awhile.. i dunno..

met siang at design canteen on fri.. he said u told him everything and think that its my fault this time round, so take it its my fault den.. i dun wish to explain anymore.. i dun wish to linger around with this matter anymore.. cos it juz make mi feel so down everytime..

time to get myself busy with work again.. wish mi good luck for tmr interview ;)

# posted by eling | Sunday, January 08, 2006 | 0 comments

Thursday, January 05, 2006

-_-""">

pay day again.. after my colour and compo, i rush down to swissotel with suiling and victor.. tommy wasn't with mi afterall to get my pay. i wonder why we shld ever quarrelled abt him.. silly mi. he forgot to bring his voucher.. but nvm.. its all over.. i got no energy to haf any more emotions to get angry with him too. NO USE getting angry oso. juz waste my energy.

change topic. after getting our pay, mi and suiling went to suntec to shop around... bought my new year shoes too.. so i can dun worry abt that liao.. oh yah, i bought a shirt for my bro too.. hope u like it.. happy belated birthday anyway~

tmr having NE forum.. from 3 to 5.. luckily i can finally clear NE forum by this sem.. kinda relieved.. having at lect at 8. yawns~ sleepy, wadever things gonna happen, i gonna leave it to tmr.. so tired'

# posted by eling | Thursday, January 05, 2006 | 0 comments

i'm alright>

i am alright guys. dun worry about me.. juz need time to settle down.. thanks for ur concern =)
saw ur blog juz now and all the memories of u and me came back again. and there u go, my tears came down again.. i admit i am silly, not knowing that u care so much for mi.. i am juz foolish enough to be used by him again and again.. i noe it hurts u.. it hurts mi too.. but whenever i noe he needs help, i juz cant help it but to help him again. i dunno why. its not i like him. i am sure i dun like him now. maybe i am too used to it. give mi time to put things down. i am sure i can. believe mi.

i dunno how am i going to cross this barrier btw us.. arguements are common btw frens. and i hope this major arguement will make our frenship stronger.. i wish that i will still be the one that u can confide in and depend on.. but i juz dunno whether this can happen again..

frens need no apology as u meant, but i think whenever things come to the worst, its always good to apologise. or else things will get worst if days go by.. accumulate more and more.. fri is coming soon yet i dunno wad kind of expression i shall put on when seeing u. maybe its a time for u to cool down tats why u dun wanna meet mi.. den its okay den.. i shall go myself.. anyway, we will still meet each other in the canteen..

u definitely haf the rights to interfere in my life, cos u are my best fren.. i need someone to guide my life u shld noe.. its not i misunderstand u, its ur words that make mi misunderstood u.. i nv tot u will end this frenship thats why i said i cant IMAGINE that u wrote that on ur blog.. okay, enough liao... shldn't say more..

humans are good actor and actress at times.. that include u and mi.. we still haf to face the world no matter wad.. nobody like to see our sullen faces everyday.. there's always a softer side of human but we cant see..

i nv told siang abt wad happened btw us. not even dict.. i juz hide everything inside of mi.. wishing that nothing had happened.. i didn't want everyone to noe that we are quarrelling.. its not some good thing i can share.. so why shld i say out? might as well bury it away.

i am glad that xiaoxin is alright again =) i din noe why is he losing fur too.. maybe too stressed? i dunno.. juz wish that health will be with it everyday.

i'm not working on tues i guess.. cos wed start school at eight.. will be booking shift later on.. think next week will be working on mon, fri and sat..

i appreciate that u cared for mi so much.. that i shld received better treatment. juz give mi time.. now all i can say is i need time to think things out.. afterall, too much things had happened........

# posted by eling | Thursday, January 05, 2006 | 0 comments

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

relieF>

i wont end this frenship juz becos of him. NEVER! u shld noe.. sorry for misunderstanding u. this will be the last sorry.. i wrote all that stuffs cos i tot u are going to end this frenship. i dun think i shall elaborate anymore.. its time to let things cool down and stop.. or else the more things we talk, the more misunderstanding we will haf. its a no-end hole. tata guys

# posted by eling | Wednesday, January 04, 2006 | 0 comments

forget it>

go ahead... get as angry as u can... i am tired... too tired to think of anything... surrounded by problem and more problems everyday, i dunno how long i can withstand.. if u really wan to let go of this frenship. there's nothing i can do but remain silent and support u... I CANT IMAGINE OUR FRENSHIP WOULD BE THAT FRAGILE. juz utterly disappointed.

alone won't be a word for u as i said. its not he's impt or wad.. is i AGREED him first this time round. WHY CANT U JUZ LISTEN FOR THE LAST TIME? hai. u can think that i put him more impt then u then GO AHEAD. i dun wanna explain no more. u nvr wan to listen. and gave mi a death penalty. so i juz haf to accept it i guess.

THANKS for everything den.. i guess.. all the happy, crazy and blissful moments.. and being for there for mi always. and SORRY for my unreasonable times. u noe i nv ever wanted to end this frenship. wad u wrote to mi was hoping our frenship last for 4 years, 40 years and 400 years. yet its HIM that pulled down everything. i can't imagine. really cant IMAGINE u said that u wont reconsider our frenship. its SIX YEARS of frenship yet its brought down in few seconds. i am juz too shocked when i see these words appearing from ur blog. is ur decision then. i cant do anything but give u my blessings then.

this is not a good year for mi. all the worst thing is coming to me one by one. juz come lah all the shitty stuffs. better bring mi down and let mi disappear from this world. LEAVE MI ALONE

# posted by eling | Wednesday, January 04, 2006 | 0 comments

wad can i do?>

i am not saying u are UNREASONABLE.. dun take my words wrongly... okay, my word and actions dun tally. i admit.. BUT its all becos i wanted him back as my best fren.. u noe how sad am i when he treats me from a close fren to a hi-bye fren? u wont noe how i feel inside. it juz hurts me deeply..

i dun wanna regrets in my life.. thats include i cherish all of my frens.. including U. u are always there for me and i definitely dun wanna lose u.. i dun wan 6 years of frenship to go down the drain juz becos of HIM. i dun wan.

u noe i will be there for u always. no matter wad.. i NEVER EVER will leave u out on ur own u shld noe.. if i ever let u feel that, i'm sorry. i noe u are tired of my apologies.

there are times when i wanted to cry and breakdown but i juz can't. my house is juz too limited. i dun haf my own privacy.. my dad is unreasonable for wadever reason and i dun haf one to speak to yest. all i can do is sleep and sleep and wet my pillow.. wishing that i wake up i will feel better.. but it juz didn't. i HATE to accumulate problems. u shld noe, it make my life miserable. BUT u like it the other way, so wad can i do?

# posted by eling | Wednesday, January 04, 2006 | 0 comments

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

wad a day =(>

SAD... this is the mood that i am carrying now... i din noe u are planning to take pay with me today... i noe ur wish is to go haf a nice dinner with me... i had even found out there is a fish & co in suntec and wanted to meet u there this thurs after i took my pay with him... u shld noe mi and him is TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE ANYMORE.. u told me u taking pay tmr... i really din noe u can make it today... and i agreed with him to take pay with him on thurs.. i dun wan to break agreements... i dun like to break agreements... but i dunno wad to say now... i'm sorry...

i'm not pinpointing whose fault it is now... and i appreciate u rushing ur projects to go take pay with mi.. hai... wad i say now is useless... u are too angry to listen... all i can do is to wait for the right moment to apologise... u noe i cant afford to lose a fren like u...

its not i put him infront of u.. i ADMIT i liked him.. BUT thats in the past... maybe my behaviour haven change for him u will think but i am REALLY putting him down... cos i noe things are getting impossible btw the two of us... the attitude he gave me.. did i deserve this for wad i had did for him? its pointless to say out everything now... i dun wan to make things ugly anymore... i will juz haf to wait for my next mr.RIGHT i think...

anyway, i'm sorry for not knowing ur efforts and think u are unreasonable... really SORRY. i hate arguements. it juz made my day miserable and bitter.. and tiring..

had severe headache juz now yet need to rush my color and composition.. took two panadols but it doesnt seems to work.. dunno why.. thanks jasmine for ur reference, i appreciate alot! =)

the screen is like moving to me now.. think i better go rest.. hai.. anyways, happy 22nd birthday kor! i owe u a pressie and i hope u enjoyed ur celebration =)

# posted by eling | Tuesday, January 03, 2006 | 0 comments

Monday, January 02, 2006

hAppY nEw YeAr~>

happy new year~! i am late again! sorry sorry... pls forgive me... haha.. hmm... how did i spent my new year's eve? haha... as expected... i am working! haha... new asia bar was so so so packed until i cant walk... everybody juz cramped up to level 72 to seee the nice fireworks at the esplanade.. its nice lah... when the fireworks was came out.. all our staffs ran to the cashier corner to view it too... how nice...

i'm sorry guys if my temper has been bad these few days... i mean to my colleagues... had to bear with my temper... cos i am quite down on my luck these few days... i really din mean it if i shouted at u or wad...

as i looked back, i had made so much mistakes during the last year... i shall not make them anymore... making a mistake once is acceptable, but twice is juz too foolish... but humans tend to be foolish at times... hai...

oh yah... today i went queensway with jiang, cai'e, zhen dong, wei siang, benedict, serene and chua... so much to shop... but i juz shop for earring only... its mainly guys stuffs there... so i din managed to get anything for mi... haha... BUT almost all of us did a temporary tattoo which is so cool... and its cheap too... can last abt 5-7 days...

tattoo at the back of my neck...

cool huh? haha... too bad only last temporary... i gonna turn in early... so tired... tmr gonna start school again... sian =( tata guys! =)

# posted by eling | Monday, January 02, 2006 | 0 comments